Set the world on fire...

If you didn't already know me...

Hi, my name is Jessica. I slur when I talk. I get off on topics that are ridiculous because I can't get my mind to work properly and calm the f down. I am concentrating so hard on every single thing I do as I'm doing it that when you walk up behind me and surprise me, I'm going to bite your stupid head off! Oh, sorry. I'm just trying not to feel the pain in my hands/ass/back/feet/head/eyes and/or plummet to an embarassing death  fall and break a leg.

I'm not doing well right now. Every day is worse. Last night I mustered enough to go out for an hour and eat, but by the time I drove home I was varying 30-70mph and swerving all over the road. I'm so tired. I hate it here. I want my mom. My grandma. Someone to live with to help me so I don't feel so useless.

Time has come. Shoes and ships and sealing wax and all of that. My mind is breaking my body, though my body wills it not to.

A Long Drive

I hate seeing all of these Homegoods commercials. Really, genuinely, hate. I see them and think: "A trip to Marshall's or TJMaxx does sound like a good idea!" And then duuuuuuuuuh moment:

I can't go to Marshall's or TJMaxx, or anywhere out of town. Why? I don't know when I'm going to be tired, I get so tired while driving, and I'd be dead on my feet the entire time I was there after driving to get there.

I just want to be normal. And I wish my mom was here, she could drive me so I didn't have to. So. Now you know why I don't go anywhere, save the grocery store. I have to save all of my energy for the grocery store. :(