Shabby Miss Jenn

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Dumb@$$

What I want to call people who really don't understand that I am sick. I said on Facebook yesterday that I didn't care if my house was a mess, I was just glad to be getting out of bed!!! And I am. Or was. Until I once again got beat down mentally for having a messy house. Like I'm the sole reason for someone elses' happiness! (*tsk tsk*) Look, you should be thankful this house is still standing, I'm wearing pants, and my (your) kids have been fed and loved on.

And I'm not crazy. I have MS. I forget stuff. A lot. I get confused. A lot. Don't call me a retard because I kept pushing the wrong button on the vaccum thinking it was the "on" button. (I had been using it, plugged it into a different room; and because of how frustrated I was, I PUSHED THE WRONG BUTTON; and got angrier because I couldn't believe my NEW vaccum was already broke!)

*Sighs*

Another day ends in tears, and so completely enwrapped in failures. I hate this.

5 comments:

Sandy said...

Jessica, I saw your YouTube video today as I was searching for more information on MS. I recently had an MRI and they found several intensities in my brain and corpus callosum. This is the first time I've read about it or even thought about it. The things you describe in your video are things I've struggled with for years, and had no idea they could all be related. It is all so very frustrating - every day things like even typing and remembering names is so difficult... I appreciate you posting your video and blog and I know it is hard for you too, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I hope you are doing ok today. Thinking of you.

Sandy said...

By the way, I love the design on the top of your blog - chasing the rabbit. So pretty.

Jessica said...

Thank you Sandy! I'm really glad you're getting checked out, I really had no idea that my symptoms were not "normal" for years! I think I always "knew" I had a problem, but I ran another direction. It can be very scary at times, and there have been a lot of tears, BUT-I'm still alive. I hope you find out what's been going on with you, and you find peace!

Sandy said...

Thank you Jessica. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I have to tell you what a comfort it is to have someone to talk to about this who understands. It's so frustrating walking down the halls at work (I do mainly office/computer work), and I have to hold on to the walls to steady myself. I try not to let anyone catch me doing this, but it's getting more difficult. Does it get progressively worse for you, or do you have times when sometimes it gets better?

Jessica said...

You know, there are symptoms that are always here. Always present, the severity just depends on a lot of different factors. Then, there are symptoms that show up and stick around a while. Some days are better than others!